ok, i try really hard not to whine. but today the frustration is coming out.
i woke up today with focal seizures in my left arm.
i've taken three doses of my "emergency" meds.
the seizures keep coming.
i can't begin to tell yo the impact it has on our family. i spend probably one day out every 10 unable to go about my regular day. the emergency meds put me to sleep. chris has to pick up so much of the load. i don't know what i'd do without him.
this stupid condition permeates every aspect of our lives. my work, his work, the kids schools and my ability to help in their classrooms. when i'm "twitchy" i can't do much of anything that involves two hands. so while i'm halfway out of it, i can't even sit and stitch, type, concentrate. it's taken probably twice as long as usual to type this because i have to keep fixing all the typos.
sometimes--ok, all the time-- i wish my neuro could just look inside my brain and say, "oh, that's it. ok, here's what we do," and it's all better. but after 6 years it's still not all better.
i know it could be so much worse. i know others have it so much worse. i am thankful for the meds i have that do work. i'm grateful for a doctor and staff that work with me. they answer every phone call, they know who i am and make the referrals and phone calls i need.
on the 28th i see a new doc who specializes in epilepsy. maybe he can get this under control. that's my current prayer.
so i ask you all to pray for me as well. Monday can't some soon enough. i'll keep you all posted.
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